In a warm and sunny country like Australia, you will come across a lot of jokes. Here are a few short Aussie jokes, and if you have got a good one, you can submit it in the end of this page.
Really Funny Quick Jokes: Drunken Man A drunk man phoned the police to report that thieves had been in his car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, the radio and even the accelerator!" he cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. "Never mind," he said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by mistake."
Sheep Dog Maury the shepherd sent his sheep-dog out to gather and count the flock to make sure none were missing. The dog returns and says that there are 40 sheep. Maury: "40? I only started with 38!" Dog: "Yeah, but you told me to round them up."
On the Highway A man was running late for the office one day, so he was exceeding the speed limit along the highway. The next thing he knows his wife rings up & says that I've just seen on the TV that there's a maniac going down the wrong side of the highway. The man replies, "One? It's all of them!".
Horse in the Bar A Horse walks into a bar, orders a beer, sits down at one of the tables, and starts reading his paper. The bartender is a bit shocked by all this, but pours the beer, and brings it over to the horse, who proffers a ten dollar bill for it. Now the barman figures the horse isn't that bright, so he decides to pull the old short-change trick on the horse. He duly goes back to the horse with 1 dollar. The horse doesn't say a word. The horse eventually finishes his beer and goes up to the bar to order another. The bartender says to him, "Y'know, we don't get many horses in here." To which the horse replies, "At nine dollars a beer, I'm not surprised!"
Jokes are the sort of things that are made to be spread (all the jokes here have previously been published in emails and elsewhere), and I can't see anyone claiming copyright on a joke, but if you find a joke on this website that you think shouldn’t be published here, contact us and I will get rid of it.
Got some good really funny quick jokes about Australia? Send them in via the link above, and if they are good jokes and not too dirty, I will put them up.
NOTE: This website is written in British English, which is the English we use in Australia. You will find words like "traveller", "harbour" and "realise", and they are all correct in the language used in Australia.
