Funny Irish Jokes

On this page you have some funny Irish jokes.



There are a lot of Irishmen in Australia, and jokes about Irish are some of the most popular Aussie jokes.

Here are a few Australian Irish jokes that I've come across, and if you have got a good one yourself, you can submit it in the end of this page.

Funny Irish Jokes
An American walks into an Irish pub and says, "I'll give anyone $100 if they can drink 10 Guinness's in 10 minutes."

Most people just ignore the absurd bet and go back to their conversations. One guy even leaves the bar. A little while later that guy comes back and asks the American, "Is that bet still on?"

"Sure." So the bartender lines 10 Guinness's up on the bar the Irishman drinks them all in less than 10 minutes. As the American hands over the money he asks, "Where did you go when you just left?"

The Irishman answers, "I went next door to the other pub to see if I could do it."



Funny Irish Jokes - in NYC

Casey McCarthy had just arrived in New York City and was amazed at the enormity of everything.

Having drunk a pint or two on the flight over, he sorely needed to relieve himself. The first door he entered happened to be a large health club, and he asked the clerk if he might use the men's room.

The clerk said certainly and told Casey the men's room was the third door down the corridor on the left. Now Casey, trying to appear sober, weaved his way down the hallway remembering some of the directions.

When he reached the third door, he turned RIGHT, opened the door and immediately fell into the deep end of a pool. The clerk, realizing Casey's mistake, ran down the hall and burst through the door, prepared to save him, and heard Casey shout, "Don't flush, I'm in here!"



Funny Irish Jokes - Drinking

An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits down, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells him, "You know, a pint goes flat after you draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin.

When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.

So I drinks one for each o' me brothers and one for meself." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it at that.

The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: He orders three pints and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two pints.

All the other regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss."

The Irishman looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawn in his eye and he laughs.

"Oh, no, everybody's just fine" he explains, "it's just that me wife had us join that Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking. "Hasn't affected me brothers a bit though."



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