There are a lot of Irishmen in Australia, and jokes about Irish are
some of the most popular Aussie jokes.
Here are a few Australian Irish jokes that I've come across, and if you
have got a good one yourself, you can submit it in the end of this
Funny Irish Jokes
An American walks into an
Irish pub and says, "I'll give anyone $100 if they can drink 10
Guinness's in 10 minutes."
Most people just ignore the absurd bet and
go back to their conversations. One guy even leaves the bar. A little
while later that guy comes back and asks the American, "Is that bet
"Sure." So the bartender lines 10 Guinness's up on the bar
the Irishman drinks them all in less than 10 minutes. As the American
hands over the money he asks, "Where did you go when you just left?"
The Irishman answers, "I went next door to the other pub to see if I
could do it."
Funny Irish Jokes - in NYC
Casey McCarthy had just
arrived in New York City and was amazed at the enormity of everything.
Having drunk a pint or two on the flight over, he sorely needed to
relieve himself. The first door he entered happened to be a large
health club, and he asked the clerk if he might use the men's room.
clerk said certainly and told Casey the men's room was the third door
down the corridor on the left. Now Casey, trying to appear sober,
weaved his way down the hallway remembering some of the directions.
When he reached the third door, he turned RIGHT, opened the door and
immediately fell into the deep end of a pool. The clerk, realizing
Casey's mistake, ran down the hall and burst through the door, prepared
to save him, and heard Casey shout, "Don't flush, I'm in here!"
Funny Irish Jokes - Drinking
walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits
down, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he
comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender approaches
and tells him, "You know, a pint goes flat after you draw it; it would
taste better if you bought one at a time."
The Irishman replies, "Well,
you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in
and I'm here in Dublin.
When we all left home, we promised that we'd
drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.
So I drinks
one for each o' me brothers and one for meself." The bartender admits
that this is a nice custom, and leaves it at that.
The Irishman becomes
a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: He orders three
pints and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two
All the other regulars take notice and fall silent. When he
comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I
don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my
condolences on your great loss."
The Irishman looks quite puzzled for a
moment, then a light dawn in his eye and he laughs.
everybody's just fine" he explains, "it's just that me wife had us join
that Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking. "Hasn't affected me
brothers a bit though."
This site uses
British English, which is the English we use in Australia. You will
find words like "traveller", "harbour" and "realise", and they are all
correct in the language used in Australia.
best efforts have been made to ensure
that all the information on this site is correct,
gondwananet.com is not to be blamed should there be a mistake.
All contents of this website are strictly protected
by the Law of Copyright. What
does that mean?