Fun Facts about Australia

Funny Trivia and a Few Aussie Jokes
So what are the fun facts about Australia?

By bobthemelbournian

Here is some funny trivia, Aussie BBQ rules and a few other tips and stories. This is a humorous page, so if you landed here and you weren’t looking for Australian jokes, take the facts here as a little exaggerated. But it gives you an idea about the Aussie life ;-) If you have got an Aussie joke that suits in here, you can submit it in the end of the page.

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By pigeonpoo

Fun Facts about Australia: Funny Trivia

* It's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to hold.

* On picnics, the Esky is always too small, creating a food versus grog battle that can only ever be solved by leaving the food behind.

* Whether it's a birthday party, the opening of Parliament, or the launch of a new art gallery, there is no Australian event that cannot be improved by a sausage sizzle on the barbeque.

* There is no food that cannot be improved by the application of tomato sauce.

* If there's any sort of free event or party within a hundred kilometres, you'd be a mug not to go.

* The alpha male in any group is the one who takes the barbecue tongs from the hands of the host and blithely begins turning the snags.

* The phrase "a simple picnic" is not known. You should bring everything you own. If you don't need to make three trips back to the car, you're not trying.

* If invited to a party, you should bring cheap red wine and then spend all night drinking the host's beer. (Don't worry, he'll have catered for it).

Fun Facts about Australia..

* The phrase "we've got a great lifestyle" means everyone in the family drinks too much.

* The most popular and widely praised family in any street is the one that has got the swimming pool.

* On the beach, all Australians hide their keys and wallets by placing them inside their sandshoes. No thief has ever worked this out.

* A thong is not a piece of scanty swimwear, as in America, but a fine example of Australian footwear. A group of sheilas wearing black rubber thongs may not be as exciting as you had hoped.

* All our best heroes are losers.

* The sealed road always ends just after the house of the local mayor.

* If the guy next to you is swearing like a wharfie he's probably a media billionaire. Or on the other hand, he may be a wharfie.

Fun Facts about Australia..

* Unless ethnic or a Pom, you are not permitted to sit down in your front yard, or on your front porch. Pottering around, gardening or leaning on the fence is acceptable. Just don't sit. That's what backyards are for.

* The wise man chooses a partner who is attractive not only to himself, but also to the mosquitoes.

* It is proper to refer to your best friend as "a total bastard". By contrast, your worst enemy is "a bit of a bastard".

* Historians believe the widespread use of the word "mate" can be traced to the harsh conditions on the Australian frontier in the 1890s, and the development of a code of mutual aid, or "mateship". Alternatively, Australians may just be really hopeless with names.

By Mushroom_and_Rooster

Fun Facts about Australia: Australian Creation Story
In the beginning God created day and night. He created day for footy matches, going to the beach and BBQs.

He created night for going prawning, sleeping and BBQs, and God saw that it was good.

On the Second Day, God created water - for surfing, - swimming and BBQs on the beach and God saw that it was good.

On the Third Day God created the Earth to bring forth plants - - to provide malt and yeast for beer and wood for BBQs, and God saw that it was good.

On the Fourth Day God created animals and crustaceans for chops, sausages, steak and prawns for BBQs, And God saw that it was good.

On the Fifth day God created a bloke - to go to the footy, enjoy the beach, drink the beer and eat the meat and prawns at BBQs, and God saw that it was good.

On the Sixth Day God saw that the Bloke was lonely and needed someone to go to the footy, surf, drink beer, eat and stand around the barbie with.So God created mates, and God saw that they were good blokes, and God saw that it was good.

On the Seventh Day God looked around at the twinkling barbie fires, heard the hiss of opening beer cans and the raucous laughter of all the blokes. He smelled the aroma of grilled chops and sizzling prawns and God Saw that it was good ... ..Well. . Almost good.

He saw that the blokes were too tired to clean up and needed a rest.So God created Sheilas - to clean the house, to bear children, to wash, to cook and to clean the Barbie, and then God saw that it was not just good.

It was better than that, it was Bloody Awesome!
IT WAS AUSTRALIA!
What a great country this is!!!!!!

Thanks for this great story, Rowena!

By Phillie_Casablanca

Fun Facts about Australia: Why Jesus Was an Aussie
* He wore thongs (if you are confused, please look up the meaning of thongs in the Aussie Slang Dictionary).
* He was a chippy, who like all good union members didn't work on Sundays.
* His favourite past times were fishing, camping, going 4-wheel donkeying, and most of his mates were fishermen.
* His mates all had nicknames: The Rock, The Doubter, Simon Peter, The Baptist etc.
* The only time he went to church as a young bloke he got into a fight.
* He was a champion surfer - he was almost as good as if he could walk on water.
* He did a mean barbeque, 5000 people rock up, no wuckers throw a few fresh caught fish on the barbie, some buns and a bit of mum's potato salad (it's in the Gospel of Thomas, trust me) and bob's your uncle.
* No one is exactly sure where he was earning his quid from but he had a mate in the Tax Office so it was all sweet.
* And to top it all off, he turned water into alcohol and so founded the tradition of Aussie home brew.

By wouter!

Fun Facts about Australia: Aussie Home Security System
In case you want to use a home security system while you go out (= pub/fishing), here’s a cheap one:
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and several NRA magazines.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads: "Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went to the gun shop for more ammunition. Back soon. Don't mess with the pit bulls – they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood.
P.S. - I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside."

Thanks for this, Tanya!

By Dr.Nomad

Jokes are the sort of things that are made to be spread (all the jokes here have previously been published in emails and elsewhere), and I can't see anyone claiming copyright on a joke, but if you find some fun facts about Australia on this website that you think shouldn’t be published here, contact us and I will get rid of it.

Got some fun facts about Australia? Send them in via the link above, and if they are good jokes and not too dirty, I will put them up.

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NOTE: This website is written in British English, which is the English we use in Australia. You will find words like "traveller", "harbour" and "realise", and they are all correct in the language used in Australia.

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