Australian Chinese Jokes

With a sizeable Chinese population, it is not to wonder that there are a fair few Chinese jokes in Australia. Here are a few I have come across:

By Aschaf

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By fatalfuj

Chinese Jokes about Names
Walking through the Chinatown in Australia, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops and signs. Suddenly he sees a building with the sign "Hans Olafson's Laundry." "Hans Olaffson?", he muses. "How the heck does that fit in here?" So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter. The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like "Hans Olaffson's Laundry?" The old man answers, "Is name of owner". The tourist asks, "Well, who is the owner?" "Me," replies the old man. "You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffson?" "Is simple," says the old man. "Many many years ago when I come to this country, I stand in line at Documentation Centre. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, "What your name?" He say, "Hans Olaffson." Then she look at me and go, "What your name?" "I say, Sem Ting."

By James_Cridland

Chinese jokes about Chinese Customs
Chinese man decides to move to Australia after 50 years of living in Shanghai. He buys a small piece of land near Mt Isa. A few days after he moves in a friendly Aussie neighbour decides to go along and welcome the new guy to the region. He goes next door but on his way up the drive-way he sees the Chinese man running around his front yard chasing about 10 hens. Not wanting to interrupt these 'Chinese customs', he decides to put the welcome on hold for a day.

The next day, he decides to try again, but just as he is about to knock on the front door, he looks through the window and sees the Chinese man urinate into a glass and then drink it. Not wanting to interrupt another 'Chinese custom', he decides to put the welcome on hold for yet another day. A day later he decides to give it one last go, but on his way next door, he sees the Chinese man leading a bull down the drive-way, pause, and then put his head next to the bull's bum.

The Aussie bloke can't handle this, so he goes up to the Chinese man and says “Jeez Mate, what the hell is it with your Chinese customs? I come over to welcome you to the neighbourhood, and see you running around the yard after hens. The next day you are pissing in a glass, and drinking it, and then today you have your head so close to that bull's bum, it could just about shit on you.”

The Chinese man is very taken back and says “Sorry sir, you no understand, these no Chinese customs I doing, these Australian Customs.”

'What do you mean mate,” says the Aussie, “those aren't Australian customs.”

”Yes they are, man at travel agent tell me,” replied the Chinese man, “he say to become true Australian, I learn chase chicks, drink piss, and listen to bull-shit”.

Thanks for this joke, Tanya!

Jokes are the sort of things that are made to be spread (all the chinese jokes here have previously been published in emails and elsewhere), and I can't see anyone claiming copyright on a joke, but if you find a joke on this website that you think shouldn’t be published here, contact us and I will get rid of it.

Got some good Australian Chinese jokes? Send them in via the link above, and if they are good jokes and not too dirty, I will put them up.

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NOTE: This website is written in British English, which is the English we use in Australia. You will find words like "traveller", "harbour" and "realise", and they are all correct in the language used in Australia.

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