On
this page are a few Australian bloke
jokes,
and if
you have got a good one, you can submit it in the end of this page.
Aussie Mateship
An Aussie woman didn't come home one night. When her man asked her the
following day where she'd been she said she spent the night at a
girlfriend's house.
The bloke was a bit suspicious so he rang her ten
closest friends, but none of them had seen her. The following week the
man didn't come home one night.
The woman asked him where he'd been.
The man said he got a bit drunk at a mate's place and thought it was
safer not to drive when drunk. The woman didn’t believe him so she
rings his ten best mates. Eight of them say he spent the night there
and two claim he's still there.
Bloke Jokes about Fishing
Kent and three of his
buddies have gone fishing every Saturday for nearly forty years. One
Saturday, the guys are fishing along a highway when a furneral
processional drives by. Well, Kent lays down his pole, stands up in the
boat, takes off his lucky hat and places it over his heart.
This
processional is huge and takes nearly five minutes to pass. Once it
passes, Kent sits down, puts his hat on and cast out without saying a
word. Needless to say his buddies are floored by his actions.
One of
them finally speaks up and says, that sure was a respectful thing you
did there when they went by. Kent replied, it seems the least I could
do seeing as how I've been married to the woman for over forty years!
Bloke Jokes - Bubba and His Two Assholes
Bubba died in a fire
and was burnt pretty bad and the morgue needed someone to identify the
body. So his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer, were sent for. Daryl
went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet.
Daryl said, "Yup, he's
burnt pretty bad. Roll him over." So the mortician rolled him over and
Daryl looked and said, "Nope, ain't Bubba." The mortician thought that
was rather strange. Then he brought Gomer in to identify the body.
Gomer took a look at him and said, "Yup, he's burnt real bad, roll him
over." The mortician rolled him over and Gomer looked down and said,
"No, it ain't Bubba." The mortician asked, "How can you tell?"
Gomer
said, "Well, Bubba had two assholes.
"What? He had two assholes?" said the mortician. "Yup, everyone in town
knew he had two assholes.
Every time we went to town, folks would say,
"Here comes Bubba with them two assholes".
Note:
This site uses
British English, which is the English we use in Australia. You will
find words like "traveller", "harbour" and "realise", and they are all
correct in the language used in Australia.
Disclaimer: Although
best efforts have been made to ensure
that all the information on this site is correct,
gondwananet.com is not to be blamed should there be a mistake.
Copyright notice:
All contents of this website are strictly protected
by the Law of Copyright. What
does that mean?